Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
