I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
