I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
