had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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