Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize