he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize