Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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