Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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