Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
