were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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