Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
