There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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