Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
