I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
