my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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