Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
