No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
