I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
