i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
