Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
