Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
