Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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