O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
