He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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