Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just google imaged poop.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
