You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize