So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize