Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
