A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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