I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
