and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
