I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
