I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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