Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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