We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
