Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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