I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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