Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
