THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
