I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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