Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
