just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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