Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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