if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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