Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
