So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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