i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
