you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
