Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize