This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
