doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
