The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
