Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize