Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
