I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
