how can u be prego again
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do vagina's smell?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
