her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
