no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dignity is for republicans.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
