New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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