Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
