Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
two words: eviction party
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We left an ass print on the piano.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
