So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dicks are not precious.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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