im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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