Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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