then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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