1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she told me i tasted like america
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
