Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
