We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
