Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Never joke about your clitoris.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
